God-Blessed Mess

I am the kind of girl who:

watches Cranford

(and writes Cranford fanfiction)

on my new laptop with its Age of Ultron wallpaper,

(didn’t you know period drama and superheroes go hand in hand?)

with Hungarian Revolution books scattered on my writing desk 

(they are my lifeline to the past)

and Little Thor and Little Sif reigning supreme over them

(worthy of watching over the lifeline)

all while I wait eagerly for my copy of The Hollow Crown to arrive in the mail today because SHAKESPEARE.

(and also Tom Hiddleston)

This is me, on a very ordinary Thursday.

(And even on an ordinary Thursday, you still can’t put me in a box)

Because sometimes I watch the sweetest, simplest Disney movies

(“Tadashi is here”)

but other times I watch slightly-creepy ones that dare me to dream a little bigger, darling.

(“Don’t you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone?”)

Sometimes I hear the people sing, singing the songs of angry men

(“It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again”)

And other times, I can’t stop, won’t stop moving’, it’s like I got this music in my mind sayin’ it’s gonna be all right.

(“I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off, shake it off!”)

And sometimes I want to punch myself in the face for things I’ve said (or written)

(All the snotty, rash, and ignorant things)

and sometimes I lie awake at night wondering if people took offense at something awkward I did.

(I didn’t mean to be so clumsy with my words or my expressions.)

Sometimes I’m confident I have the best life in the world

(“I lead a small life–valuable, but small…”)

and sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t inject a little adventure into it

(“…do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave?”)

before I remember that loving the small life is the bravest thing of all.

(“Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire.”)

And sometimes I’m still frightened and fretful and don’t think I’ll ever measure up

(The Accuser is like a prowling lion, seeking someone whom he may devour…)

but even in those times I can trust that my God is behind and before me, with His hand upon my head.

(He who watches over me will neither slumber nor sleep.)

This is me, in all my God-blessed mess.

(But a God-blessed mess is a good place to be!)

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(A/N: Not usually the kind of writing I do, but it was fun!)