‘Twas the Night…Trek-style!

(I can’t take credit for the following Adorable Cleverness and I can’t even find out who wrote it. There are, apparently, various and slightly-different versions all over the internet. But I laughed my head off and couldn’t resist posting it here, with a few very minor edits.)

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the ship
not a computer was working, not even a blip.
Communications were silenced by Uhura with care
in hopes that Starfleet would forget they were there.

The crewmen were nestled all snug in their beds
while visions of shore leave danced in their heads,
and the Captain in his quarters, a book on his chest,
had just settled down for a well deserved rest–
when down in the labs there arose such a clatter,
Kirk sprang from his bunk to see what was the matter.

To the turbolift he rushed, and through the door,
dropped down two decks and slipped on the floor.
Picking himself from off the deck
he reached behind to rub his sore neck.
When what to his eyes should appear
but three anti-gravs piled high with some gear.

Behind them someone dressed up all in red,
with a white flowing beard and a cap on his head.
More stealthily than Klingons his helpers they came
and he motioned and whispered as he called them by name.

“Now Chekov! Now Sulu! Now Uhura and Scott!
Hurry and be quick, extra time we have not!
To the rooms of the crew! To the end of each hall!
Now dash it and darn it! Be quiet you all!”

As good officers they waited for orders to obey;
at a signal from their leader they all rushed away.
Up to the crew deck the helpers they flew,
each pair with a grav unit and gear piled on it too.

And in but a twinkling Kirk gave hot pursuit
to see what that red-dressed fellow would do with his loot.
As he hid in his niche and was turning to spy,
out of a room the fellow backed with a heavy sigh.

He was covered in fur from his foot to his dome
and his body was rounded with a stuffing of foam.
White trimming around his fat belly traversed
and he looked like a tribble just ready to burst.
The end of a stylus he held tight in his fist
and checked off each stop on his computer-printed list.
The corner of his mouth turned up in a lopsided grin
that almost went unseen because of the beard on his chin.

His helper was taller and dressed like an elf
and Kirk smiled a bit in spite of himself.
The slant of his brow and the point of an ear
soon let Kirk know he had nothing to fear.

They spoke not a word but went straight to their chore
and placed a wrapped package inside every door.
Then meeting the others all finished and done
they headed to the lab back from where they had come.

Kirk sprang from his niche to watch them take their leave
and the last thing he saw was the red fellow’s sleeve.
But Kirk heard him exclaim as they moved out of sight,
“I’m a doctor, not Santa. I hope I got everything right…”

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Merry Christmas, you nerds 😉

9 thoughts on “‘Twas the Night…Trek-style!

  1. Ha! This was brilliant. I’m not even as big of a Trekkie as some people I know, but I enjoyed it muchly. 😀 Thanks for posting!

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  2. Ha! This was brilliant. I’m not even as big of a Trekkie as some people I know, but I enjoyed it muchly. 😀

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    1. Haha, no problem! It goes through my moderation queue thingy so I just put one of them up there for you 😉 So glad you enjoyed that, though–isn’t it fun? I’ve been giggling all morning over it!

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  3. AWW THAT IS SO ADORABLE. I LOVE THAT. It’s so perfect too – all the details like Kirk reading his book (which he always seems to do) and Spock’s eyebrows slanting.

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    1. Yes!!! Those little details made me fall in love with the whole thing. (And let’s be honest: Kirk being a bookworm is one big reason why I love him so much too 😉 ) And the last line made me crack up!

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  4. Thanks for posting this….we needed a Christmas puppet show and this was perfect! Our Bones puppet made the cutest Santa, and Spock in an elf hat….. Mum laughed so hard! Hahaha!

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    1. Oh, that’s AWESOME!!! What a great idea too! I’ll have to see if I can get my siblings to do something like that next year 😀 😀 😀

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